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Prior to the 1970's, the most common type of adoption was closed adoption. Secrecy surrounded the process to protect the privacy of all people involved. The birthparents and adoptive parents rarely met face to face or ever knew anything about each other. As adoptees grew older, their interest grew deeper for them to receive information about their birth family. Toward the early 1980's, the process of adoption began to undergo some drastic changes after some members of the adoption triad began to express their pains and difficulties with a closed adoption. Primarily, most adoptions are now known as open adoptions. In this type of adoption, the birthparents and adoptive parents have the choice to have as much openess as they want. Birthparents can choose the family they think is best for their child. They can meet them if they wish. They can have pictures, letters, and even visits through the years. There are still alot of misconceptions about adoption practices and we hope that by answering some most common asked questions about adoption, that we can help you to better understand how it works.
1. Why do women consider placing their babies for adoption?
There are many reasons that some expectant mothers choose adoption. In many cases, she may feel too young and/or not prepared for parenting. Many young pregnant women have career and educational goals, which they feel cannot be realized while supporting and caring for a child. Many birth mothers choose adoption for their baby so the child can have a full and happy life with two parents who unconditionally want and are ready to care for a child. It's important to realize that these young women love their babies very much and in most cases, they do want to have and raise children one day, but would like to do so when they are ready for the experience.*A child born to a single mom is 6 times likelier to be in poverty than a child of a married mother and father, 3 times as apt to repeat a grade or to become pregnant as a teen-ager, and a staggering 22 times more likely to be incarcerated than a child from an intact home. *source: Mike McManus, The Washington Times: "Adoption: The neglected option". Sunday July 22, 2001
2. What do people think of women who choose adoption?
Some people don't understand why women choose adoption and can be critical. Others understand that adoption is chosen out of great love for a child and a desire to see them raised in a warm, stable, caring environment-something these women would like to provide for their babies but can't right now. Ultimately the decision is theirs. Most important is what they think of themselves, knowing that they have made a difficult and courageous decision.
3. Does the baby's father need to know about the pregnancy and consent to the adoption?
The law requires that the father of the baby be told about his child. Even if a woman is reluctant to do so, a counselor can help her talk to him further. At the Adoption Center of San Diego, for example, we encourage the birthfather to come in with the birthmother when making the choice about who will adopt the child, if that is possible. Generally, it is best to enlist the father's cooperation as much as possible. Birthmothers might want to talk with an adoption counselor or attorney if they are uncertain how to tell the baby's father.
4. Do birthparents need their parents' permission to place a baby for adoption?
In California, birthparents do not need parental permission at any age to make an adoption plan. As the baby's parent, they are considered an adult for the purposes of making decisions about their pregnancy. Most birthparents want to seek their parents' support for their pregnancy and adoption, however, adoption is your legal decision. Even though some parents may be hurt or upset about the pregnancy, it is important to have their parents' love and support during this difficult time if possible.
5. What kinds of people want to adopt?
Since 1 in 5 couples in the U.S. have trouble conceiving a child, it is not difficult to find people who want to adopt. Those choosing to adopt are people who want very much to share in the experience of lovig and caring for a child. They usually have gone through many years of trying to have a baby: miscarriages, medical treatments, surgeries etc. They are stable in terms of careers and finances, as they have been preparing for children for several years. These people have a great deal of time to think about having children and are committed to and excited about undertaking the responsibilities that come with parenting.
6. How are adoptive parents chosen?
At the Adoption Center of San Diego, birthmothers choose their babies' parents. She can meet them in person, spend time getting to know them, and visit their home to feel sure that she made the right decision.
7. How can birthparents be sure that the baby will have a good home?
At the Adoption Center of San Diego, the birthparent chooses the couple for their child. Additionally, California law requires all adoptive couples to complete a home study, before an adoption is finalized. All agency and independent adoptions require prospective parents to provide complete histories. They are fingerprinted to make sure they don't have criminal backgrounds. Social service workers visit the home to make sure everything is safe. The birthmother chooses the new parents for her child after she meets them, and is satisfied that they will provide a good home. She can choose a family that shares her faith and values and meets her ideals, and even matches her interests/hobbies.
8. What if a birthmother chooses adoption and then changes her mind? Birthmothers are thoroughly advised of their legal rights in advance by a social worker, who is her unbiased advocate. They don't sign adoption placement papers or relinquishments until after the birth. The placement agreement is permanent after 30 days. But most women have thought about adoption beforehand and make a solid decision. They seldom change their mind. The commitment between birthparents and adopting parents is based on trust, and is a serious one.
9. Can a birthmother receive financial help?
It is illegal to pay for a child. However, in California, it is completely legal for adopting parents to pay legal, medical, counseling, and other expenses directly related to the pregnancy. All expenses must be recorded and reported to the courts before the adoption is finalized.
10. Can the birthmother see the baby if she wants to?
Open adoption gives her the option of meeting the adopting parents and developing a comfortable relationship with them during her pregnancy. Some birthmoms choose to stay in touch with the family after the baby arrives, too. She can receive photos, letters, or even have visits in the future. |
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Adoption
Center of San Diego | ||
The Adoption Center of San Diego is engaged solely in adoption facilitation as defined by the State of California Famiy Code.