At the Adoption Center of San Diego we get to know our families personally. We meet with them, visit their home and educate them about open adoption. Then the birth parent chooses the couple that meets their ideals, the one that’s perfect for their child. We facilitate the first meeting so the Adoptive Parents and Birthparents get to know each other, and to insure the Birthparents are satisfied that they will provide a good home.

Additionally, California law requires all adoptive couples to complete a home study, before an adoption is finalized. All agency and independent adoptions require prospective parents to provide complete histories. They are fingerprinted to make sure they don't have criminal backgrounds. Social service workers visit the home to make sure everything is safe.

At the Adoption Center of San Diego we get to know our families personally. We work with a limited number of couples. We meet with them, visit their home and educate them about open adoption. Our prospective parents write a personal, heartfelt letter telling you about themselves; their hobbies, interests, education, their values and faith. The birth parents choose the family that meets their ideal. Then we help you to meet the family. You have an opportunity to spend time getting to know them before the baby is born.

Since 1 in 5 couples in the U.S. have trouble conceiving a child, it is not difficult to find people who want to adopt. Those choosing to adopt are people who want very much to share in the experience of loving and caring for a child. They usually have gone through many years of trying to have a baby: miscarriages, medical treatments, surgeries etc. They are stable in terms of careers and finances, as they have been preparing for children for several years. These people have a great deal of time to think about having children and are committed to and excited about undertaking the responsibilities that come with parenting.

In California, birthparents do not need parental permission at any age to make an adoption plan. As the baby's parent, they are considered an adult for the purposes of making decisions about their pregnancy. Most birthparents want to seek their parents' support for their pregnancy and adoption, however, adoption is your legal decision. Even though some parents may be hurt or upset about the pregnancy, it is important to have their parents' love and support during this difficult time if possible.

The law requires that the father of the baby be told about his child. Even if a woman is reluctant to do so, a counselor can help her talk to him further. At the Adoption Center of San Diego, for example, we encourage the birthfather to come in with the birthmother when making the choice about who will adopt the child, if that is possible. Generally, it is best to enlist the father's cooperation as much as possible. Birthmothers might prefer to have our adoption counselor or attorney communicate with the birth father if she is uncertain how to tell the baby's father.

Some people don't understand why women choose adoption and can be critical. Others understand that adoption is chosen out of great love for a child and a desire to see them raised in a warm, stable, caring environment-something these women would like to provide for their babies but can't right now. Ultimately the decision is theirs. Most important is what they think of themselves, knowing that they have made a difficult and courageous decision. Every birthmom we’ve ever worked with LOVED her baby and would have parented if her circumstances were different. She chose adoption for the sake of her baby.

I hear this question often, and it breaks my heart because nothing could be further from the truth.  These children are placed in a loving home, with two parents who have wanted a child for a very long time.  And most importantly, the child will grow up knowing WHY they were placed.  They grow up knowing that adoption was a selfless, loving decision.  Open adoption allows them to know their birth family and they know they’re loved by so many people.

With over 18 years adoption experience I have never  had a birthmom tell me she regretted her decision.  Certainly they tell me they wish their circumstances had been different….”I wish I had waited”,  “I wish I’d been older”,  “I wish it had been with a different guy”….but they all have told me that considering their situation at that time they are proud of their decision.  Watch our video “Adoption - No Regrets”, and you’ll hear several “real life” stories.

There are many reasons that some expectant mothers choose adoption. In many cases, she may feel too young and/or not prepared for parenting. Many young pregnant women have career and educational goals, which they feel cannot be realized while supporting and caring for a child. Some are already parenting other children and are struggling. ALL choose adoption for their baby so the child can have a full and happy life with two parents who unconditionally want and are ready to care for a child.

It's important to realize that these young women love their babies very much and in most cases, they do want to have and raise children one day, but would like to do so when they are ready for the experience.*A child born to a single mom is 6 times likelier to be in poverty than a child of a married mother and father, 3 times as apt to repeat a grade or to become pregnant as a teen-ager, and a staggering 22 times more likely to be incarcerated than a child from an intact home.

Birthmothers are thoroughly advised of their legal rights in advance by an Adoption Services Provider, a social worker, who is her unbiased advocate. They don't sign adoption placement papers or relinquishments until after the birth. The Placement Agreement is permanent after 30 days. But most women have thought about adoption beforehand and make a solid decision. They seldom change their mind. The commitment between birthparents and adopting parents is based on trust, and is a serious one.

It is illegal to pay for a child. However, in California, it is completely legal for adopting parents to pay legal, medical, counselling, and living expenses directly related to the pregnancy. All expenses must be recorded and reported to the courts before the adoption is finalized.

Open adoption gives her the option of meeting the adopting parents and developing a comfortable relationship with them during her pregnancy. Some birthparents choose to stay in touch with the family after the baby arrives, too. They can receive photos, letters, or even have visits in the future.